CronicConfusion

I'm cronically confused, hence the name to the site. I'm weirder than most and completely psycho. They say the first step to recovery is is admitting you have a problem. I do have problemS, and so far admitting it hasn't done me any good!!

Friday, March 30, 2007

PostSecrets for the week

I prefer it this way. I let the people that think they know carry on in blissful ignorance, because if they really knew . . . it's just not an option!

Isn't this just the truth? How many of you out there can honestly NOT agree with this one?

To Putty with love. . .

. . . just remember that I am entitled to my own perception, but just cause that's how I percieve it doesn't always mean it's true!
The Unforgiven
(Hetfield/Ulrich/Hammett)


New blood joins this earth
And quickly he's subdued
Through constant pained disgrace
The young boy learns their rules

With time, the child draws in
This whipping boy done wrong
Deprived of all his thoughts
The young man struggles on and on, he's known
A vow unto his own
That never from this day
His will they'll take away

What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown
Never be
Never see
Won't see what might have been

What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown
Never free
Never me
So I dub thee “Unforgiven”

They dedicate their lives
To running all of his
He tries to please them all
This bitter man he is
Throughout his life the same
He's battled constantly
This fight he cannot win
A tired man they see no longer cares

The old man then prepares
To die regretfully
That old man here is me

What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown
Never be
Never see
Won't see what might have been
What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown
Never free
Never me
So I dub thee “Unforgiven”
You labeled me
I'll label you
So I dub thee “Unforgiven”

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Saga Of My Tears


I sit all alone in this room
As memories unfold
Tears streaming down my face again
This pain never grows old

Some say it's a state of mind
But it's my heart that really hurts
I only aim to please you all
But what's a smile really worth?

This is the story of my life
The saga of my tears
A story told a thousand times
Remade over the years

If you listen up closely
Maybe you might hear
The beating of my heart
And the saga of my tears

They say that life's a trip
I hit the ground face first
Lost everything I ever wanted
But it could have been worse

Or that's what they tell me
Do they sit alone in the dark?
Or stare into broken mirrors
Thinking it's the pieces of their heart

This is the story of my life
The saga of my tears
A story told a thousand times
Remade over the years

If you listen up closely
Maybe you might hear
The beating of my heart
And the saga of my tears

This is the saga of my tears
A saga that never ends
This a the saga of my tears
That fall from cheeks til the end

More & more each day


Friday, March 16, 2007

St Patrick's Day




Tomorrow is my birthday, so happy birthday to me . . .la-la-la-la . . .








Thursday, March 15, 2007

PostSecret Positive


Thursday, March 08, 2007

I want

I want to be courted by the truth.
I want my stories that are telling my life to spin out in multicoloured threads.
I want the willingness to live my desires.
I want to take risks and greet my fear.
I want to taste, see, hear and touch the center of my sorrow.
I want to be able to sit with my own pain and sit still with other people’s pain without feeling I have to save them.
I want to set my boundaries.
I want joy to find me and lift me in ordinary moments.
I want to belong to joy.
I want to be faithless.
I want to bear the responsibility of breaking an agreement with someone when the alternative is to betray myself.
I want to learn how to be her fully, in this body, in this world.
I want to be awed everyday by the truth – pretty or painful – and let it open me to the beauty that surrounds me and draws me deeper and deeper into my own life.
I want to sit and wait for love to find me, to come and take me home to the place where I – mistakes included – will be welcomed.
I want to be with those who have met within themselves the ability to feed the children when they thought they could not.
I want to find the ability to live with the vastness of what I do not know and what I can not control.
I want to dedicate my ife to something more than my own happiness or my own sorrow.
I want moments of real solitude where I can feel myself at the center.
I want to meet myself to just for one moment look in from the outside.

Way too close to home for comfort

This is a true story. Seeing that today is international day for violence against woman and children, I thought this would be appropriate.

To the South African Government: declaring an 12 day clamp down on abusers of woman and children is NOT good enough. Our children should be protected, AT ALL TIMES, and both woman and children should be protected, DAILY.

If the children are our future what are we teaching them by allowing the violence against them to continue?
Some interesting statistics about crime in SA: http://crimexposouthafrica.net/crimexp/index.php?option=com_frontpage&Itemid=1&limit=10&limitstart=30

This innocent, absolutely gorgeous little girl disappeared on 18 February 2007.
Her plight immediately captivated the entire South Africa.

Thousands of people have joined the search for Sheldean, children included and everyone faithfully believed that we will find her. After all, who could do harm to such an innocent angel face?

E-mails flew all over South Africa and she made the headlines every day.

On 6 March, this devestating e-mail and news paper confirmations were all we had to show for the intensive search and the hope that gripped a nation:

"Our search for Sheldean is over. I was informed earlier tonight that a child's badly decomposed body has been found in a shaft in Premos near the Tshwane University of Technology in Pretoria after police followed up on information."

"I am asking all of you to burn a white or pink candle on your porch or in your front window to light up the streets of South Africa to show our sympathy. Let these candles in our windows light up this country and the world to dispel the darkness that crime has descended us into. Let us honour Sheldean Human, an innocent young girl that became another victim of violent crime in South Africa. Let her death not be in vain."



SHELDEAN CANNOT TELL US WHAT HAPPENED, WE CAN ONLY PRAY THAT HER SUFFERING WAS SHORT AND THAT HER DEATH WAS NOT PAINFUL OR IN VAIN. Never again will her voice be heard. Never again will she laugh. Never again will she play. Never, ever will she reach her full potential. She won't have children, she will not complete her schooling, she will not attend her prom. She will not see second grade. . . .

"Police are still trying to establish exactly how Sheldean died. Her body was in a badly decomposed state when it was discovered. Police will not comment on what killed the young Pretoria Gardens girl until they have received the results of a forensic examination, currently being conducted. Police also refuse to speculate what Andrew Jordaan's motives were for the abduction, saying they will only comment on the events leading up to her death when forensic evidence can back police claims. An intensive search of the area where seven-year-old Sheldean Human's remains were found yielded armfuls of forensic evidence. Investigators are busy with the arduous task of using what they have collected to piece together the picture of Sheldean’s last hours alive. Meanwhile, Jordaan is preparing to appear in the Pretoria Magistrates Court tomorrow on a charge of murder but he is being kept under the watchful eye of police in an undisclosed location for his own protection. "


MY QUESTION HERE IS: WHY SHOULD HE BE PROTECTED, BUT CHILDREN IN THIS COUNTRY ARE NOT????!!!!

"Andrew Jordaan, the coward and killer of this angel, only admitted to his horror deed yesterday (06 March 2007) after being questioned by Superintendent Piet Beyleveld. Andrew Jordaan will appear in court this coming Friday, 08 March 2007, for a bail application, but would then be charged with murder.

I will be at the court on Friday. I call on all of you to be there too. Captain Msimango wanted this investigation to have a happy ending. For Sheldean, her mom, her dad and her family. This was not to be. He said that never was it more true than today in this country of ours, for all law abiding South Africans to understand, that criminals come from a mindset that knows no discrimination. Neither race nor colour nor culture shapes the heart of a killer. In the end, the victims of their evil deeds are not selected based on the colour of their skin, their culture or their class.

"The village of South Africa needs to realise exactly what it means to raise a child", he said. "Law abiding citizens of this country must take hands against criminals. Therein lies our salvation."

Let us send a united message to criminals. NO MORE. Let us not let Sheldean's murder be in vain. Come to the court in Pretoria in droves, wearing pink and denim and let us stage a silent protest. Those not living near Pretoria, wear a pink t-shirt and denim pants on Friday. Let the new united drive against crime by all South Africans be fought in pink and denim. Let us, the living, be the voice of all the innocent victims against those perpetrators of evil."

Most of the information and writings in this post was retrieved of this site. My thanks to what the site means to the general population in South Africa. Keep up the good work, we appreciate you!

Some Pride in Where I Come From!


You know, gentle readers, there comes a point in time when only repeated beatings can numb the disturbed droning of our country's plethora of pedantic poepols (in English=assholes). Yes blurry-eyed boys and girls, the moronic nature of the latest Institute for Race Relations statement proves, yet again, how far removed from reality we really are. Says the people, whose salaries someone must please justify to me some day, "We will be keeping a close eye on the effect of Afrikaans singer, Bok van Blerk's, hit single - De la Rey."


Riiight. For those of you unaware what the fuss is about: The song is about General De la Rey and how he lead the Boers during the Anglo Boer War. A great leader, General De la Rey even tried to put an end to the war when he realised what a decimating effect the scorched earth tactics of the English had on the country. If anyone has bothered watching the music video, they'd see that it has nothing to do with race and everything to do with Afrikaner pride.


So, what is wrong with that? All of a sudden the Institute for Mamparras (closest English translation = dumb fucks)...err, Race Relations wants to take a closer look at the song... yet, alas, when a certain Mr Jacob Zuma was standing outside a courtroom singing "Bring back my machine gun" - no one said a single word.


The Institute for Selective Perception was eerily quiet about the issue and no one said anything about keeping a close eye on the effect the song had on the masses who were cheering him on. No doubt "Bring back my machine gun" is a peaceful ballad about flowers, frolicking in the fields and drawing hearts in the white sands of time... Yeah, "bring back our fucking sanity please".


Toni Yengeni's cow-killing comrades can stand on a hill shouting "culture" at every and any criticism, but those Afrikaans-speaking nationals of South Africa do not have the same defense in celebrating a song, honouring the heroics of a culture legend. The song asks for General De la Rey to come lead the boers again, not in any violent struggle, but in galvanising Afrikaner pride and identity which so many people are trying their very best to dilute.


The mere fact that the Institute for Lame Intelligence voices its opinion about it just goes to show how heavily skewed their modus operandi is. I have seen the music video, I have heard the song, and it's pretty good for what it is. The video, especially, is a well produced, professional product - far superior to most other local efforts.


I do not own the CD but, since the Institute for False Intentions have now made an issue of it and, since I perceive this as an attack on freedom of speech, the right to exercise a specific culture and a deliberate attempt to stir a pot that didn't need any further stirring, I will go out and get the damn thing. I will play it loud, everywhere, all day and, while I'm at it, I plan to slaughter five Kudus in my back garden for biltong and droewors...


Hey, it's my culture mo'fo's - deal with it... and, while you are at it, "Bring vir my die Bok!"(bring me the Bok!)

Friday, March 02, 2007

Sometimes Pictures Speak Louder Than Words Ever Can